Transcription of Visualizations under Self-Hypnosis/Acupuncture (Past Life Regression?)
Background
I had my initial memories of a past life/active imagination way back in the early 1970’s while in college. I was at a small party that evolved into drinking too much beer and smoking too much pot. The part I remember was listening to an album by Al Stewart called “Year of the Cat.” The song “Nostradamus” played, which seemed to make a strong impression on me, then came his song “Roads to Moscow.” Great song, but it’s about WW II and I found myself transported to Moscow, 1812. In this state of mind, I knew my name was Jean-Luc and that I was in Napoleon’s army. I don’t remember any of the other aspects, but this incident and the name “Jean-Luc” always stayed with me.
Forty years later, in late 2010, I needed to get acupuncture treatments to relieve some back pain. I did these over a couple of months. Each session lasted about an hour and I would always meditate during the sessions to help pass the time. I have had some experience doing self-hypnoses (when I quit smoking) and used those techniques to take me deeper into meditation. The acupuncture seemed to facilitate the meditation and self-hypnosis efforts. I am uncertain what I actually experience (past life memories or an active imagination), but the visualizations were strong.
I was not able to have these visualizations at every acupuncture session but did in three of them. Several other sessions were just mindless relaxation and another had visualizations in ancient Ireland. When I tried too hard to have visualizations, I failed. They happened only when I was totally relaxed with my mind as empty as possible. A few years ago, when vacationing on Molokai, my wife and I met a native spiritualist. In talking, I described my acupuncture experiences. She said she has used hypnosis many times for past life regression and offered to hypnotize me. The same story, with a few more tiny details came out.
Meditation Technique
As I started the acupuncture treatment, I relaxed with meditation and specifically tried to do past life regression using self-hypnosis. I tried to visualize a long hall with a door at the end, which I hoped to open, but I couldn’t ever reach the door. So, I decided to just relax and remember things that happened to me at a very early age.
Just after my 3rd birthday, we moved from St. Louis, MO to Washington DC. I’ve always clearly remembered the plane ride from St Louis. The plane was a DC3 and I had an aisle seat. I kept trying to get a peek out the window and the man who had the window seat traded with me. I was mesmerized by the sights of the earth so far below; everything so tiny.
While remembering and looking out the window, I saw a white opening and looked inside. The visualization began then.
Visualization Summary
I found myself in Russia in 1812 Moscow. I was in a dark room, passionately kissing a young woman. A strong sense for her name came to me. It was Anna Lise and my name Jean-Luc. She was the daughter of a German family living in Moscow and it was in her family’s home that I was staying. When the darkness receded, I found myself huddled in a bed with my boots on in a small room.
At this point, I began to understand who I was and where I was. It appeared that I was a junior officer in the Grand Army of the Republic under Napoleon I. In the short time I had in Moscow, I became very close to this young woman. She and I would take long walks in the park along the river near her home, talking at great length and enjoying each other’s company. We apparently fell in love, despite or perhaps because of the conditions we found ourselves in.
As time went on, I was given orders that we were to abandon Moscow and return to France. Once the orders were received, we needed to prepare for departure quickly. I found this anguishing because I could not bear to leave Anna Lise. I sought and got permission from my superiors to bring her with us in our retreat and arranged a carriage for her. As we retreated from Moscow, it was not just Anna Lise who came with me, but her parents as well. They feared the Russians would retaliate against them for providing me a place to stay.
Anna Lise’s parents had a butcher shop in the German section of Moscow. When we left Moscow, they filled their carriage with a collection of sausage, bread, and cheese and tried to conceal it.
I kept their carriage as near as I could to myself and my troops. The first few days were uneventful, but then things began to go very wrong and discipline within the ranks deteriorated. All of the civilians had food, but the soldiers were going hungry.
The retreat went from bad to worse. We came upon a large river which we couldn’t immediately cross as the Russians had destroyed the existing bridges. We, along with the army, camped on the edge of a very marshy area near the river. It was cold and snowing. The soldiers were laying logs across the marshland toward some bridges being built. The marsh went for a very long way.
As the troops and supply wagons began to enter the log road across the marshland, the Russian army came up from our rear. The rear forces skirmished with the Russians, but the Russians were also sending cannon fire into the scene. Everything was chaos, but we kept moving forward.
At the banks of the river that we are trying to cross as the Russian artillery fires on us, I am able to get the carriage with Anna Lise’s family across the makeshift bridge. I lead my horse and walk with Anna Lise across the bridge. The scene is chaotic. The temperature freezing. Anna Lise is dazed and fearful and the full realization of how young she is (about 16) and how all of this must terrify her struck me hard.
Fortunately, we were among those able to cross the river. Looking back, we could see the Russian cannon beginning to destroy our log road across the marshland and people, mostly the trailing civilians were caught up in the bombardment and killed. Though many of us escaped across the river, many did not, including much of the army’s supplies. We were now in even shorter supply of food and the weather continued to worsen.
(Side-note from 2015. When I wrote this in 2010, I did not know any of the details regarding the retreat from Moscow. But, having this vivid remembrance led me to checking out the details of the retreat. It became very obvious that what I saw with this visualization was the crossing of the river Berezina.
Everything remembered above this is untainted by any previous knowledge. However, the part below this about Napoleon leaving is possibly tainted from what I learned when I looked into the Berezina river.)
After crossing the bridge, we travelled uneventfully for a few days. With our carriage and horses, we were moving quickly along the road, passing many bedraggled soldiers. With my small group of soldiers and the carriage, we soon found ourselves among other units of the retreating army. There was little discipline in these ranks. We came to a halt as rumor spread that Napoleon was leaving us to return to Paris. We found a small building to stay in. We built a fire and got as comfortable as possible. My overwhelming feeling was that I needed to protect Anna Lise. But I had military duties that needed to be attended. A meeting of Officers was called to discuss strategies for our retreat, especially since now Napoleon would not be among us. I left one of my soldiers to guard the building with Anna Lise and her family and proceeded to my meeting.
While I was gone, some troops unfamiliar to me suspected that there was food and warmth within the building where I left Anna Lise. They attacked my guard, overwhelmed him, and broke into the building. They quickly killed Anna Lise’s parents, but told her to stay put. They found the food and ate and warmed by the fire. After satisfying themselves with food and warmth, they turned their attention to Anna Lise.
My point of visualization now seemed to change where I was now seeing things through the eyes of Anna Lise.
They decided to have sport with her; stripping her of her clothing, then raping her over and over. Anna Lise blocked her mind from what was happening to her and she dwelled on her happy memories of growing up. Through her, I could see she travelled back to playing in the gardens and park and visiting with her father in his shop. Though her family were not of noble origins, they had a good and comfortable life. Anna Lise focused her mind while the soldiers did what they did.
What happened devastated me and my anguish was unbearable. It was very cold and snowing. I no longer had any desire to stay with the army. I bundled Anna Lise onto my horse, not knowing if she would live, and left. I decided I was going to leave the army and try to return to my home village. I was a beaten man. I had to avoid the roaming Cossacks. I knew that if they came upon my lone set of tracks in the snow, that they would follow, find, and kill us. So, I insured that I did not create new fresh prints in the snow but rather followed already made tracks.
I am uncertain how the journey went, but I believe that I found my way to a city, which I think was in Lithuania. I settled in for the remainder of the winter, but got sick. I‘m not sure if I died here or got home.
How I Started in Colmar
In 2016, my wife Kathleen and I vacationed in France. We exchanged homes with a French family in a town not far from Versailles. A wonderful experience.
In our many visits to Paris, we searched for an old lithograph picturing the ‘Crossing of the Berezina’ in small bookstores near the Left Bank. We found one and it hangs in my Office. We also took a side trip to Normandy. I hardly ever use tour guides, feeling more comfortable with my own research, but at the last minute, caved into my wife’s request to go on a tour of the beaches. It was great, we ended up with a very young tour guide girl and had with us a very funny set of brothers from Finland, who were motorcycling across Europe, and a young man traveling by himself from Kentucky. The group became very close and talked about our homes etc. The tour guide was in her mid 20’s, just out of University and said she came from the Alsace, from the town Mulhouse. She was half French, half Prussian. She described her childhood home, and I decided then that my story would start in the Alsace.